Today was a particularly busy day with back-to-back-to-back-to-back meetings. Brain = mush.
So here are a few puns to lighten the load:
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
“But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t
stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug
in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can
prevent florist friars.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him ….what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s
good) A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.