Nobody knows the trouble we’ve seen…
This, from an e-mail from my wife to her family says it all:
Subject: if it wasn’t for bad luck…
OK, so first we lose the house we had a contract on after paying for an
inspection ($380). Then the electric motor on my driver’s side car window
dies during an ice storm ($400) — rolled DOWN, of course. Then an animal
dies under our house, which we’re still trying to sell, and the critter dude
and all his men ($125) can’t get to it where it has crawled into an area
around the tub, even after drilling two holes in the wall. They did find its
nest, though. It’s a possum, liquifiying somewhere very near the linen
closet in the hall, where its stench is most powerful. Then our washing
machine dies, and we have to go buy a new one ($500). So I’m thinking…
1) we claim we’re harboring Saddam Hussein so the president calls in an air
strike on our street, or
2) we turn the house into a chapel, Our Lady of the Putrifying Possum, and
go for nonprofit status, or
3) we try to convince the people who are STILL coming for showings that
we’re making an environmental statement or that they’re crazy, there’s no
SMELL! What smell?!
4) we apply to be a Superfund site.
I was very close to having a nervous breakdown, but now, it’s just starting
to be funny. Anytime I start getting depressed, I remind myself that, had
we removed our contingency, we’d be on the hook to buy the new house while
trying to sell one that smells like the inside of a possum.