Stop the madness!

This has been bothering me for a long time, and I just have to say it:

ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE CHICKEN SOUP BOOKS!!!!

First there was “Chicken Soup for the Soul,” then “Chicken Soup for Every Mom’s Soul,” “..for the Teenage Soul,” “..for the Latina Soul,” “…for the NASCAR Soul.” The list of books runs 10 PAGES!

I get packs of them at the office, five or six different ones per mailing. It seems that America has an unquenchable thirst for bad poetry and platitudes. African-Americans, baseball fans, teachers, nature lovers, Canadians, brides, caregivers, cat and dog lovers, expectant mothers, fishermen, gardeners, golfers, grievers, military wives, preteens and prisoners, veteran and volunteers — they each have their very own “Chicken Soup.”

You have to hand it to these guys — they’re brilliant. They’ve got the formula, and they don’t even have to come up with the material anymore. They get it by the boatload, from the same folks who read these books, then submit their own heartwarming and inspirational stories.

And there are a lot of them. Since 1994, the books in the Chicken Soup For The Soul series have sold more than 65 million copies.

Maybe it makes me a bad person, but the only inspiration I get when I see one is to vault it at high velocity through the nearest window.

More Chicken Soup, you say? How about “Chicken Soup for the Crack Ho’s Soul,” or “Chicken Soup for the Terrorists’ Soul.” How about a French edition just for Beyonce? They could call it “Bouillabaisse for the Bootylicious.” Or a whole Deep South series: “Chicken Soup for the Redneck Soul,” “Chicken Soup for the Trailer Park Soul,” and “Chicken Soup for the Wal-Mart Shopper’s Soul.”

And I have an even better idea; a niche that even they haven’t found yet. And we can all be a part of it. Friends and neighbors, give it up for: “Chicken Soup for the Troll’s Soul.”

Can I get an Amen?