Ramblin’ Prose

Comments 3

1. Anna wrote:

   Hmmm. A delicate area and you are likely to get some vastly wide ranging opinions. My generaly rule of thumb is if its a safety issue or a morality issue (and there are not really a lot of those - lying, stealing, cheating, meaness are things I abhor), then I err on the side of conservatism. If its something like earrings, I am less picky. I mean its just not a moral issue. So what if other parents judge us for deciding to allow our kids to have earrings? I only have myself and my kids to be accountable to in the end! Children have to start feeling what its like to make a decision and live with the consequences early in life. Earrings are a perfect example. Its also an opportunity for them to learn that they can trust you to be there for them and to tell them the truth. So I think Aja was about Abby’s age - maybe younger. I explained that it would hurt a lot, but only for a while and that when it healed she’d have a little hole there. I explained that she had to take care of it, or it would get infected and hurt more. I asked her if she still wanted to do it. At first she said no. But a day came when she was sure and determined she wanted them - pan not withstanding. So I took her. She cried a little, but was proudly sporting them in an hour. I had to remind her to clean them and take care of them, but she was so proud. It was a decision she made for herself and learned what it was like to have a little pain and a new chore to do for the enjoyment of having earrings permanently. I used to let her pick out her clothes too. She laughs now at some of the many barrettes and outfits she chose. She still remembers the thrill of putting together her own outfits. I believe these little things set a context of empowerment for our children that lasts a lifetime. One of my themes with my children throughout this process is “with freedom to choose comes responsibility’. Responsibility to keep your commitments, keep your word, keep up your half of the bargain. I think this lesson is priceless. The earrings, in my humble opinion, are no big deal.

   Posted 27 Jun 2006 at 8:11 am ¶
2. eddie wrote:

   I was with Aja when she did the belly ring, not so sure I agreed with it at the time. However, she knew what to expect and I agree with Annas comments regarding making decisions and living with the consequences. She still has it so I guess it was important to her. As I recall, Aja had no problem with stripes and poka dots either. We agreed. Erik started using a computer before he could walk, no fear of anything that keeps us connected. Another good decision, but who could have resisted that first mac. And a favorite story of mine, ( thanks anna) When Katherine Hepburn was a child she would climb the tallest tree. Her neighbor came over and told Kates mom how dangerous that was.”I know” she said, “please don’t tell her”. That sums it up for me.

   Posted 27 Jun 2006 at 10:52 am ¶
3. herb wrote:

   Anna,

   I’m just going to touch on the last part about the earrings. I had a friend when I was little who also got earrings when she was little. She was really active. I don’t remember how, but the earrings got pulled out. I won’t go into the details of what her earlobes looked like, but suffice it to say, it wasn’t pretty.

   Just trying to spare Abby the pain and teasing at this point. She’s really active and I’m just a little nervous that they could get pulled out.

   Posted 27 Jun 2006 at 1:39 pm ¶